Serkan Bolat in Sen Çal Kapimi - The Fallen Star

 

I am Serkan Bolat. And no, I am not a robot. Not funny. There is nothing much to say about me, and I am not sure what I am doing here talking to you, a complete stranger. I don't have long rambling conversations with family or friends. I am not affectionate, and sweet. People come to me because they care about what I can do for them.  

I am an architect. I have an eye for design and I am good at what I do. I am a Bolat. The Media presumes things about me and my family. We do not enjoy the attention. We do not need the publicity. They say I am a rich entitled recluse. True. They also say I am one of the best architects in Turkey right now. You cannot be the best without working hard, without building contacts. How do they think I became successful? I built Art Life. Father was not supportive. I do not expect anything from him. He would rather I follow his footsteps and join the Holding. Not now. Later. Timing is everything in life. I have my own plans. I carve my own path, my destiny. No one, not even my father has a say in it. 

The first time I met her, I knew she shifted something in me. I just knew she was different. I had gone to the university to talk to the students. It is good to meet them, find out what they think. I support talented youngsters in my field. This is out of professional interest and not because I have a big bleeding heart. I cringe when people praise me for what I am not. She was in the audience, she disrupted my speech, berated me in front of everyone. I like challenges. I do not get them very often because I do not make mistakes. I am too careful. When I see something I want, I see the whole layout, the structure of a building. Everything in its place. I make the calculations and I draw the design and it turns out perfect. Perfect. That is a word that I like very much. I was annoyed when she stood up in the darkness of the auditorium and disparaged my company and me. How dare she. I thought I knew she was wrong and I was right. As I said, I do not make mistakes and I do not lose to anyone. When she stepped into the light, I saw her eyes first. They were fierce, alive. She was a fiery thing. I felt a little thrill inside me. She was crazy. 

She scratched my car with her keys and then handcuffed me when I called her out on her stupid, childish behavior. It turns out Art Life did cancel the scholarships of the students, including hers. She was overreacting, but now I was wrong and I had to tolerate her. I spent the whole day with her in handcuffs moving from place to place while she drove me crazy. It was annoying but I liked how she was not scared of me. Fearless girl who would not tell me her name. So that is the story of how I met her. Eda. Eda Yildiz. She changed me into a person I don't recognize anymore. I do not know who I am now and what I am doing with my life. I have changed so much that I am talking to a random person who doesn't know me. 

 Eda was helping her aunt at the nursery because she could not complete her degree. It was my fault but I have never said it aloud. I was careless, I trusted the wrong employee. I am the boss. It is my responsibility when something goes wrong in my company. I have never apologized to her for it. I can't. I hate sorrys. What is the point? I would rather not make mistakes. And then, I would rather undo the problem than try to fix it with mere words. I don't trust words. People lie. They cheat. They betray you. It is in their nature. I need to always be careful that I do not fall into the traps that people build with words. So no, I do not believe an apology could right a wrong. it is just a string of words that people use to make themselves feel better. 

Eda loves flowers. I am allergic to them so I try to keep my distance. I don't want to get into how she started as my personal assistant while pretending to be my fiance. Well... You can look up the social media and you will find out the scandal that pushed her into my world. When she kissed me in front of an audience, with the press lined up in front, I kissed her back. I would have been an idiot if I had pushed her away. I am no saint. She is a very very attractive young woman. I had asked her the previous day if she would like to pretend to be my fiance in return for her scholarship money. She didn't like my suggestion. People generally react favorably to my requests. I made my move. I calculated wrong. She slapped me. I can honestly say that sort of thing doesn't happen to me often. Or never! The slap stung a bit but I let it go. She seemed like a nice enough girl. Sometimes human beings react in unpredictable ways. I don't. I don't react to everything that people say or do. It is a waste of time. She was crazy anyway and I had unwittingly let this crazy sexy girl into my orbit. Now, I had to clean up the mess. Father and Mother were rightfully upset. They got over it but the whole media circus around it was a nuisance. It didn't even last that long. Hardly a few seconds. I meant the kiss. 

Selin wanted a romance with a bow on it and everyone and their mothers know that I am not a 'bow type' of person. In fact, I am not someone who invests in romantic dinners, cards, gifts, or jewelry. Selin doesn't need them anyway. Her dad was a founding partner of the Holding and suffice to say that Selin is as financially secure as I am. She is also hardworking and focused like me. I appreciate that. There is a stereotype of romance that we see everywhere. I have no interest in it. Selin broke up with me, got engaged to Ferrit; and she destroyed what could have been a safe and logical partnership with me. It made no sense. She should have stuck to the plan. Her fiance doesn't suit her. He has no focus, no goals, and has had it too easy in life. I detest that. He is also best friends with a person who repeatedly tried to damage my organization and my people- Kahn. Selin is planning to spend her life with an unreliable, untrustworthy person like Ferrit. I know she is still in love with me, so I decided to use Eda to make her jealous. I needed to try whatever I could and I didn't have any better ideas. Maybe seeing me with another woman would make her regret her decision. She had to break up with Ferrit or the Holding would be at risk. Ferrit would wield too much influence on the Holding and it would be such a big mess even I will not be able to fix it. Holding is our family legacy and Selin is my childhood friend. It is my job to protect both. But, I will have to destroy Selin if she doesn't do as I say and I do not look forward to it. If she turns into my enemy, I may have no choice. Ferrit has blinded her with his corny moves and pretentious words. Getting engaged to Eda seemed like a decent plan at the beginning even though it did carry some risks, but I do make good plans. I won't lie. It did cross my mind that I might get another chance to kiss her if she were to be my pretend girlfriend. Sometimes my eyes slip down to her lips and I am only human and she is a fairy. She takes a childish pleasure in teasing me and torturing me with her eyes and her smiles. Deliberately taunting me, dancing around me. It is the kind of thing she does, just because she can. I have come to accept all of her craziness as perfectly normal now. She got inside my head and changed my wiring.   

Eda mesmerized me with eyes first, then her lips, then her smile,. Then I met her heart and I couldn't believe it was real. She treats everyone with kindness even when they don't deserve it. Case in point- the Bolats. We are not a poster family for riches in love. Loneliness in love is more our forte. We don't deserve her. Except Sirius. Sirius is fascinated with her. Adores her. He is a rescue dog who doesn't trust anyone that easy.Then, Eda made me look at the world around me with her eyes and everything looked different, more vibrant, sunnier. She woke me up from my sleepy jaded world. She provoked me, tricked me, laughed at me and I started rearranging my life around her whimsical life. I knew early on that I was attracted to her. At first, I wasn't sure what to do about it. She does hate me with a certain passion. Not just her, but her aunt and her three best friends. I am not the kind of man they want for her if they had a say in it. Even I can see that clearly and she reminds me every day that she hates our arrangement and wants to run away as soon as possible. I want to trap her into my life, but a star like her is not meant to be shot down. 

I got her to sign my contract. Two months, be my arm candy, my loving adoring fiance. I will admit that she tested my patience, especially being the arm candy part. Unlike Selin, she is unpredictable. I think I told you this. Erratic, undisciplined, and very very sharp-tongued. People say my anger is fearsome. They haven't met Eda. When she is provoked, she has a habit of saying the exact wrong thing that can scuttle all of my plans; like the time she lied to Selin and said we were moving in together or  the time she said we are getting married. I have learned to play along now; I am no longer surprised. You never know if you can trust her to follow the rules of the game because she will change the game itself.

She can't stand my routines, my compulsive behavior to organize everything perfectly, and my need to control everything around me. She is independent and doesn't appreciate my need to protect her. I get it and I try. But it doesn't work. It is not so easy to win her heart. She would probably appreciate an artist, or maybe a writer, walking around in flip flops and watching the sunset with her. A man who can make her laugh and do impulsive things with her. I am not that man. She sees that clearly. She is dreamy, but also practical. She doesn't want to be a part of the world that rich entitled people like me and my friends grew up in. 

I know she will not be happy in my world. I see that. Her flowers would suffocate. Also, I messed up big time. I accused her of showing our documents to Kahn. I knew she was hiding something from me; she wouldn't look at my eyes; wouldn't answer my questions properly, avoided me completely for days...what was I supposed to think? I know how she could do impulsive crazy things. I know she could be careless, she does not take these things seriously. I was angry, I wanted to see her reaction and it wasn't my brightest moment. As I said, I keep losing to her. Including my heart. When I asked her to leave, I thought she will refuse. But she left. I had to ask for forgiveness later but things were never the same after that. She was so keen to leave me, and whatever I did to compensate for my mistakes was not enough. I shut down Kahn and I chased her around the Istanbul gardens, got her a project to become a landscape designer. I handcuffed her and let her vent her anger at me. She broke a few decor pieces in my vacation home. I would have let her break everything there if that meant she would stop hurting. Finally, I had to write her a note and make a terrarium. Didn't even know what that was before, but her aunt helped. After that, even though she forgave me, I think she really couldn't stand me because she was different towards me. More withdrawn and guarded. We can't trust each other. 

Maybe it is all for good. She needs to fulfill her plans to become a landscape artist. I know now that she has extraordinary talent and a unique eye, the kind of perspective you cannot get from a university degree.  I don't care about Selin and Ferrit so much anymore. But I am scared of what will happen to me once Eda leaves. And she will leave. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I don't want Selin back and I have told her this at least five times. Eda thinks she knows what I want. She wants me to tell Selin that I love her. Why would I do that? Sometimes when I look at Eda, I think she feels the same way as I do. But then, she can toy with my thoughts, my emotions. When she is actively plotting to bring Selin back to me, how can I hope that she is interested in someone like me? It is just not logical. She is rushing to get rid of me as soon as she can.I thought if I tell her I don't love Selin, she will stop being the pretend fiance and remove the ring I put on her finger. But now, Ferrit rushing Selin into marriage is such a bad idea that, at this point, I have no clue what to do next. If they marry it will be a disaster and I will lose Eda. Selfishly, I want more time with her. I want to listen to her laughs, her secrets, her musings... But she is determined to leave me. Do I tell her I want her to stay? I don't know how she got into my head, confused my feelings...I am not ready to let her go just yet. But, she is a star and she belongs far away from where ever I am. Well, I am done talking to you. I think I have said enough for now. 

All Images credited to:  https://www.fox.com.tr/Sen-Cal-Kapimi 

This is a character analysis of Serkan Bolat from Sen Cal Kapimi from a creative point of view. No copyright infringements intended to the original owners. 

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